I spy infidelity…
Thankfully, I no longer have to worry about this. I am single, so therefore I could only cheat on myself, with myself. A bit boring I would think.
Unluckily for some of my friends the issue of infidelity is one they are facing. And if only the act of infidelity was so cut and dry as sleeping with someone else. If this were the case the outcome would be a no-brainer: accept it and stay, or move on.
But what I am learning through my friends is the actual definition of infidelity. It ain’t like the movies.
Does infidelity cover lying about your relationship status? If you choose to not declare your current state of affairs should you be deported from the moral high ground? Is this just an oversight or an act of deceit that warrants the stamp of infidelity?
Surely when you are in a relationship, it is more than just common manners and decency to deftly bring into conversation you are in existence with a partner. I am not dictating that this should be the case applied to every encounter you have with a stranger. But we can all pick up the vibes of an interested party.
Do the decent thing and not lead them on. Not just for the sake of your loyal partner, but the person in front of you who fancies their chances with you.
Next case in point of undefined territories of infidelity: flirting. Never should one lose the art of flirting whilst still in a relationship. But one should be acutely aware of the precise line of crossing it.
Flirting is a dangerous game to play when your partner isn’t looking. What happens when they do look your way? Will they appreciate your close contact with someone else as meaningless fun? And do you possess the willpower to not be dangerously tempted and take it that one step further?
I am not sure humans were ever meant to be monogamous. But that’s what we’ve brought into. And in a way that’s what your partner has too.
Infidelity takes on many strands. It unravels back to abusing loyalty, trust and respect of the person who has chosen to be with you. So, it can be as subtle as non-disclosure and as exhilarating as dirty dancing with someone else that qualifies as an act of infidelity.
Feel free to post-rationalise at your will, but at the end of the day it is only you who will get bitten. I believe in ‘love karma’ – fuck with that and you’re likely to be sitting on your ass in your eighties with five cats and no one to love.
Unluckily for some of my friends the issue of infidelity is one they are facing. And if only the act of infidelity was so cut and dry as sleeping with someone else. If this were the case the outcome would be a no-brainer: accept it and stay, or move on.
But what I am learning through my friends is the actual definition of infidelity. It ain’t like the movies.
Does infidelity cover lying about your relationship status? If you choose to not declare your current state of affairs should you be deported from the moral high ground? Is this just an oversight or an act of deceit that warrants the stamp of infidelity?
Surely when you are in a relationship, it is more than just common manners and decency to deftly bring into conversation you are in existence with a partner. I am not dictating that this should be the case applied to every encounter you have with a stranger. But we can all pick up the vibes of an interested party.
Do the decent thing and not lead them on. Not just for the sake of your loyal partner, but the person in front of you who fancies their chances with you.
Next case in point of undefined territories of infidelity: flirting. Never should one lose the art of flirting whilst still in a relationship. But one should be acutely aware of the precise line of crossing it.
Flirting is a dangerous game to play when your partner isn’t looking. What happens when they do look your way? Will they appreciate your close contact with someone else as meaningless fun? And do you possess the willpower to not be dangerously tempted and take it that one step further?
I am not sure humans were ever meant to be monogamous. But that’s what we’ve brought into. And in a way that’s what your partner has too.
Infidelity takes on many strands. It unravels back to abusing loyalty, trust and respect of the person who has chosen to be with you. So, it can be as subtle as non-disclosure and as exhilarating as dirty dancing with someone else that qualifies as an act of infidelity.
Feel free to post-rationalise at your will, but at the end of the day it is only you who will get bitten. I believe in ‘love karma’ – fuck with that and you’re likely to be sitting on your ass in your eighties with five cats and no one to love.
posted by Zap at
8:47 pm
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