They say: Everything happens for a reason…

Do we believe them? ‘We’ being everybody else out there who thought this year was going to rock.

This saying is one that is wheeled out for every occasion: redundancies, rejection, relationship malfunctions… It is the one size fits all of clichés.

Got no advice? Then wheel this little puppy out. It’s great.

But why is it great?

I’ve been on the receiving end and have actually experienced a minor glow to hear these words. I haven’t skipped home, but it has definitely made me see the light at the end of the tunnel… and just possibly, just possibly I’ve considered the fact that the lumpy turd that has landed on my doorstep day in and day out is some cosmic endurance test of my positive thinking.

With a little perseverance, optimism and belief in this cliché, I will see that fate has once again interrupted and produced a scenario way beyond my wildest dreams.

I will see my impatience and intolerance has been challenged for the greater good. I will garner life-affirming lessons that will carry through to my retirement of lazy gins on the back deck in my eighties. I will impart small gems of wisdom as I go along care of this Oprah-like journey of rising above it all. Thankfully I will not develop a cranium of her size.

But in the meantime, and in the quest of seeking enlightenment, this cliché really does piss me off. I want to stamp all over it and tell it to fuck off. I am sick and tired of waiting for life to do its ‘divine intervention’ – I want it now.

Just like horoscopes, it seems this cliché caters for the masses. And just like horoscopes, I will pay attention to it daily in the hope it is self-tailored to me and all the things my little heart desires.