A big rack over a big butt any day

Oh yeah baby – that’s what I’m talking about. Just listen. Name me the pop song equivalent of ‘I like big butts’ that goes on and on and on about breasts – the shape of them, how they move, what they’re like to feel, what they’re like in the trunk. Go on, where is that song?

When I was in Grade 5 – that is when I was 10 years old my best friend Monica commented while we were waiting in line to begin ball-room dancing lessons that I had a butt that wasn’t too small, wasn’t too big. She was 10!! Can you imagine how my 10-year-old self coped with such a random and unsolicited observation of my butt?

Nowadays I have men slowing down in their cars to yell out the window: Nice piece of ass baby. I have the checkout man holding me ransom while he packs my weekly shop telling me he likes a ‘woman with curves’. I have men on their way to work following me down the escalator to quickly praise the cut of my jeans.

All of these incidences and I could add many more to the mix – more times in fact than ‘I like big butts’ has been played at high school discos – I have been fully clothed. No mini skirts, jumpsuits or spandex in sight.

See the reason I chose big breasts over big butt is you can hide the dam things. You can cover them up. A turtleneck, a tailored shirt, a well-fitting bra.

Can you cover up your butt? Hell no! Even a light, draping material likes to cling to the contours, even wedge itself in the gap. Any trouser pant or jeans is just asking for it. There is no escaping!!

And there is nothing I can do about it – butt get on with it!!!