Mental note: work on being spontaneous

Random and hectic in London… but definitely not nearly as spontaneous as what it should be.

That was the conclusion I came up with when I had to book in a date to see one of my friends a month in advance. I thought this a little strange, but when I looked over the next two weeks in my diary I realised life was jam-packed with birthdays, leaving dos, work hob-knobbing, catch-up lunches… and well, where is the free time??

Is this the way it is when you grow up? Life becomes planned and impulses are pushed to the kerb to keep up engagements.

The only commitment I had in the student world was a last-minute cramming session because spontaneity ruled! Dropping in to see a mate for coffee inevitably spilled over to waking up on the couch with a smashing headache and the destruction of empty wine bottles and over-flowing ash trays. And it all seemed relatively fine and seemingly the norm.

Whereas now, a scenario like this is played out and you’re left playing catch-up. You’ve either decided on staying in (because it is criminal to subject the rest of society with your state) and reorganising your plans from the comfort of your couch. The guilt you feel kind of kills the impulses of the night before. Or you’re forced to ignore the best wishes of society and drag yourself through another social engagement. It’s only after you’ve had the second hair-of-the-dog does some of your guilt reside.

How have I got to this point – I have to plan to be spontaneous. It kind of defeats the purpose doesn’t it?

Meet Miss Prude… ‘Hi!’

Am I being prudish? Can romance come from www.com? And can I put myself out there and leave my dating life up to a click of a button?

Do not fear. Virtual courting does not await me just yet…

But then it got me thinking… how am I going to meet all these men naturally if they’re spending most of their time surfing for virtual hopefuls on the net?

It’s hardly like internet dating sites are going to go away?

But do I want to be telling my grandchildren romance happened at a manoeuvre of the mouse and a witty email exchange that led to a date.

Can I not have a natural freak occurrence and meet a man in a bar?

Charles Darwin was no hottie

I have yet to delve into temptation and become a tasty cyber-morsel for some surfing sperm provider. But, it has raised some interesting questions about us bewildering species…

In true Darwin-style it really is survival of the fittest. And whether it be offline or online knowing what’s in your league and out of your league is vital to dating life.

So how do you know what league you’re in? Did I miss the “league call” when puberty hit? Or is it randomly assigned to you, like a nickname is?

Also, what I want to know is… can you move up and down a league? Or is it simply a case of league-for-life.

Online leagues are defined primarily by your photo. That is, apparently why it is a “life essential” to have many photos – it increases your chance of sensory appeal.

I’ve also gleaned from the on-liners that it is of great offence if an ‘out-of-leaguer’ approaches an ‘in-league’ prospect. So, does it merely come down to looks in this environment?

Religion, job, smoker or non-smoker does not seem to come into play here (although they do ask) – only side profile, face on and random shot of natural beauty reign supreme.

Maybe there is hope in the off-line landscape. But still looks are the big clincher. It seems you have more of a chance here as you can play up on your other factors. For example personal hygiene, overall sanity and non-psychotic tendencies are also valued.

Having said all of that though, you must still be fully aware of your league. And the only certain thing about that is, no one knows if they’re in the right league or not until they’re told. It’s when you’re not deemed the fittest that you want to give Charles Darwin a big old smack.

Fuck evolution and all the rules. Leagues are for those not fit enough to fall in love.